The Nerve of Some People...

"Never say something behind one's back that you wouldn't have the nerve to say directly to their face" ~ Author Unknown

 I am having one of those days where I feel like the world's worst mom.  And, maybe I am a bad mom, but I don't like hearing it from other people.  Like many other moms, i'm stuck indoors 99% of the winter because it's just too cold and too difficult to get out of the house with two little ones in tow.  So instead, I look to other sources for advice and reassurance.  One such place is "Yahoo! Answers".  

Today I posted a question about my bedtime battles with my daughter.  I have tried literally everything I can think of to get her to bed, and it just doesn't work, and i'm out of ideas.  Some of the answers I got back were so hurtful.  I know I shouldn't let strangers get to me...but it's hard when you get answers like:

"shes the one making the rules, its supposed to be the other way around."

I honestly don't feel like she's the one making the rules.  I feel like I have too many rules sometimes.  We have a loving bed time routine that we follow fairly religiously.  We have a snack, then put our pajamas on, then brush our teeth, go to the girls rooms, tuck them in, read/tell a story, say prayers, hugs and kisses, tell them "goodnight and we love them".  If that isn't how it's supposed to be, then I don't know what i'm doing wrong.  If she comes out of her room, we just bring her back and lay her down again.  But this is happening for hours at a time and at all hours of the night as we've recently started getting 3 and 4am visits in our rooms.

A response to my question that was particularly hurtful was:

"Sh!t man, why not just put her to bed properly? Like, actual parenting. You know how in "Goodnight Moon," there's the "Quiet old lady, whispering hush"? Yeah, that...

Set up a routine with milk and stories and cuddles, tuck her in, let her drift off -- _then_ go drink your beer or whatever it was you were doing while closing the door on a sobbing three-year-old (traumatic, very scary for a small child). You must realise that the hijinx with using gates instead of parenting is not normal?"

I was baffled when I read this.  Why is it that when a mom is struggling and seeks help, even from strangers, others feel the need to be cruel?  Parenting is hard enough without complete strangers assuming your a negligent alcoholic.  It's comments like this that make moms feel like they can't talk about the difficulties surrounding parening and makes everyone plaster fake smiles on their faces and pretend everything is perfect.  Hah!  What a sharade!  I want to talk about the hardships and gain real advice from women who aren't afraid to be real.  I don't want to pretend i'm perfect and like my almost 3 year old didn't just hack her own hair today or color all over the walls.  Is that too much to ask or are we just supposed to play our parts in the "picture perfect" life?